Mona is really angry with her children for screaming inside the grocery store. She snaps at them under her breath, and feels like, for the first time, hitting them on their hands. The more she scolds the children, the crankier they become, and their fighting with each other escalates, and so does her daughters shrieking. By the time they get home, everyone is angry, frustrated, and cranky. She is fuming with anger. She sends her little children to their rooms, slams the door, and goes to the kitchen. Opening up the cupboard, she pulls out a bag of chips, starts munching, and sinks to the ground in exhaustion.
So many people waste, literally W-A-S-T-E time and energy in their life over emotions they can’t control, emotions they don’t even understand, and emotions that are freaking annoying more than anything else.
Females are supposed to be more “emotional” than males according to old wives’ tales, famous authors, and probably the president. (We could ask him, and spark some national debate!)
What women don’t understand is feeling a wide range of emotions does not equal being overrun by emotions. There is a huge difference, and for the sake, at least, of all the current husbands and future ones out there, it would be wise for women to take note.
“But how unfair, picking on the women…” I’m not picking on anyone. I am asking that women do what they do best: FEEL. Only feel with accountability.
Life can become unbearable if you play victim. If negative emotions are running your life, or more than you would like, chances are you are not taking accountability for your life. Drowning in emotions seems so much safer than attempting to swim to shore. (The irony is amazing…)
So what is the solution? Female or not, emotions are messengers. Your job is to decode the message. For each emotion you feel on the surface, there is another one lurking below.
For Mona, a scenario like this happened over and over again. She would wind up tense and frustrated every time she went out with her children. She dreaded shopping or running errands with her kids. After spending some time with a life coach Mona finally decoded the message.
Anger was a cover for deep shame and embarrassment . In her culture, if kids made noise in a public place, it was a sign that she was a bad mother. She was so worried that someone she knew would recognize her while she was out, and then judge her by the way her kids behaved. Never mind they were aged 4 and 5 ½, and a tough age to handle. Anger was the easiest emotion she could resource, and a well developed habit.
Can you imagine how many other places anger showed up in Mona’s life when she feared judgment or felt out of control?
Good news for Mona, is she is well on her way to being happier and less stressed. Not just with her kids, but her husband too!
So what about you? What happens if you don’t decode the message of your own emotions, male or female? The answer is that you will waste time, kill energy, and harm others close to you.
Spend a few hours, get a coach, and do yourself the favor of gaining an awesome understanding of the messages within your internal communication network. And for the females, you can stay true to your nature of being emotional, only instead of negativity; you become a source of over flowing happiness, calmness, and serenity.
(*Side note – did you know men are incredibly attracted to a female who is expressing serene femininity* )