People have different ways of dealing with pain. One of them is to attempt to ignore it, or distract themselves. For example, someone upset you, or something is hurting you, and when the rush of emotions hits you, instead of sitting down to digest what is going on, you switch into auto pilot mode. Maybe you waste hours on the internet, are in and out of the kitchen eating, reorganize your desk for the third time this week, go shopping, or suddenly become off the wall hyper. The scenarios are endless.
What’s important is for you to ask yourself: what do I do when I’m upset. We all have endless ways of handling pain, but for some, this becomes a consistent pattern of behavior which can lead into dangerous habits that take on a life of their own.
Here are some tips to handle emotions:
1) Find a space where you can think (I like to drive!)
2) Ask yourself what is it that you are feeling right now.
3) Keep going. Were you honest the first time? (Maybe you said, I’m feeling angry, but truth is, you are hurt, and the truth under that is that you don’t like not being in control, and the truth is……)
4) Once you can identify what you are feeling truly: grant yourself the chance to embrace that feeling.
5) Now, what do you need right now? (someone to talk to, sleep, to apologize, to forgive, think of the bigger picture?)
6) Take a positive action.
The key here is to learn that when you are in pain, you need to tune in to understand what’s going on. When we ignore our feelings, the objective is not to feel, and therefore not hurt or face consequences. Ironically, you will secure for yourself only more pain in the near future by this type of behavior.
Feel like its more complicated then above? In one on one coaching, we can address specific ways to assist you in overcoming reactive behavior, and help you get in the drivers seat again in regards to your emotions, and find out what is driving you.
It’s your life. How do you want to live it?