I have recently found myself weighing out some major decisions in my mind. It is amazing how there are so many different ways for me to focus on negative outcomes, and it seems nearly impossible to put fears aside, and think of positive outcomes, or even something slightly realistic. My best bet would be that most of you know what this feels like. It’s annoying how you think thru something logically, and then emotions take you for a crazy ride.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH! Time to put the brakes on. No more cruising on this confusing highway. What we need is some direction!!
Tips for Decision Making:
1) “Hmmmm, what if……?” – Ask your self a lot of open ended question when seeking a decision or solution to a problem. What if I did this…. What if I did that…. The more you list, the more options you will discover, and your decision will become less overwhelming. None of us like to feel like things are black and white, and when we do, this is what makes us afraid to make decisions.
2) Worst Case Scenario – allow your mind to imagine the WORST possible thing that could happen. Write it down on paper, and look at it. Now ask yourself, if this were to really happen what would you do to handle it? After this, write out the best case scenario, and then, the most realistic scenario. Once completed, you will feel a greater sense of control, and less afraid to make a decision when you see how small your “massive” fears really are.
3) DREAM!! – When making a decision, ask yourself, what am I ultimately trying to fulfill? What dream am I wanting to see happen? Sometimes you need to be a bit selfish to succeed, and cut out whatever is harming you and holding you back. Keep your vision of who you want to be and what you want to achieve in front of you, and strive for it!! All decisions need to have a higher objective.
4)Istikharah– Ask Allah, swt, to guide you in your decisions! This is the %100 guaranteed method of decision making, because once you have clarity, you ask Allah to make it happen if its beneficial for you, and to remove it if its not.
Sa’d ibn Waqas reported that the Prophet, salalahu ‘alayhe wa sellum, said,
“Istikharah is one of the distinct favors (of Allah) upon man, and a good fortune for the son of Adam is to be pleased with the judgment of Allah. And a misfortune of the son of Adam is his failure to make istikharah (seeking Allah’s guidance), and a misfortune for the son of Adam is his displeasure with the judgment of Allah.”
Use these methods and notice how the anxiety level drops in your decision making process. You may still have some fear, or perhaps butterflies in your stomach, but you will have more clarity, and be able to make a clear headed decision insha’Allah! As for me…its time to get my pen and paper out…… 🙂