One of the things I love about coaching is watching the transformation my clients make when they begin to realize that they really can reach some of their large goals they had once given up on. It seems like a small shift at first, but the impact is massive. It starts with a belief, and like a seed in fertile ground, it begins to grow roots and sprout in no time.
I love working with people who feel that change is impossible. They know they need to make some changes, they know that certain goals are important to them, and the first thing that needs to happen is that they believe it is possible. I help them do that part, and the pay off is tremendous happiness for me. What once seems impossible, quickly switched to likely!
To help you strengthen your own beliefs, I recommend the following exercise.
This is also useful to help you re-frame the success of someone else. Perhaps your husband wants to accept a new job, and you feel insecure about the path he is taking. Maybe your daughter wants to start a business, and you are unsure if she can handle it. If someone else has shared their goal with you, they want your support. You might think “there is no way this will work out,” and it may be true, IF it had been you pursuing the same goal. People are wired for success in different ways. Rather than insisting you are right, what would happen if you were to allow yourself to also create ways for them to succeed?
1) Write down your goal at the top of a piece of paper.
2) Think of 3 times in your life you were successful and did something you are proud of. What were the 2 qualities in your personality that made each of those possible.
3) Looking to your current goal: Now focus on those qualities. They are always with you – and this time is no different. What will happen to your goal when you apply them?
4) Make a list of 10 possibilities for you to be successful. Don’t worry if all of it sounds “realistic” because amazing things happen everyday. (If you are doing this for someone else’s goal, your worry will decrease or your feelings of insecurity will diminish when you can see all the possibilities of success.)
My final question: What benefit do you get from not allowing yourself to see the possibility of success? How does it feel to say “In a perfect world, this could happen, but not in my life….” Blah. I’m not telling you to live in la-la land, but chances are you are not an equal-opportunity think tank. If things were 50-50 in chances, why ignore the other equal side of opportunity which is success?
If you are passionate about something, my best bet is you know very well you can achieve it, and the odds look more like 80-20.
If you thought things could only be successful, imagine what actions you would take, feelings you would have, and experiences you would gain. Stop thinking, start believing, and take action. Failure doesn’t happen. Qadr may turn you down a different street, but you will still be driving and going forward! Enjoy the ride success brings, even if you have to drive through a storm cloud for awhile, sunshine awaits.